It is no secret that I enjoy my personal time. As a Professional Witch, I don’t get much of it. My schedule is so packed with work, both internal & external. The pursuit of happiness is daily & relies heavily on my spiritual practice & on the whole, I am very happy with the way my life is, as is. My coven is strong & healthy. My company is steadily growing & the Silver Broom Ministries is holding its own, getting better with each passing Moon Cycle.
Yet, the idea of Love, at least in the romantic/sexual sense has always been… tricky for me. Dating in particular has always been a tightrope walk, especially since I came out as a Witch. I have always been a Witch, even before I knew what name to call what I am. Recently I have faced a great deal of contrast on the subject.
With all of this internet connecting going on, where a person sees a picture & reads a brief profile, it’s never been so easy to meet someone in absentia. But the processes of ‘getting to know you’ cue Anna (musical theatre reference) those beginning questions are always a litmus test when perspective suitors ask me even the most basic questions.
“What do you do for a living?” Oh really? Do I have to answer this right now? Don’t you want to know how big my… ‘bishop’ is first? Most do. The temptation to lie outright is strong, but that’s not who I am. How easy it is to say, I am a teacher, which is true, just not the whole truth. Like it or not, Professional Witch is the truthful answer & I have come to consider that answer ‘asshole repellant.’ Those who can’t handle it, thinking I eat babies & worship Satan run, run as fast as they can (You can’t catch me I’m the muggle/once born man.)
That I don’t mind so much, as I said, ‘asshole repellant.’ If they can’t handle the Witch thing well, how are they ever going to handle everything in my life that comes with it? But what’s worse are those who find it so very… interesting.
“No, I won’t cast a spell on you,” I have replied so many times. Mind you, I said won’t not can’t. (BTW, you just gave me permission to do so.) No, I don’t fly on a broom; the most air I have ever gotten is about 3 feet off the ground. But I can summon a storm with one. Not exactly good 1st date conversation. Let’s not get into how many times I’ve been asked if they can come to an orgy that I surely must lead at Full Moon. Not that we’re not a decent looking group but, no, we don’t practice skyclad & orgies… not my thing. I am a Virgo, remember.
But, I recently started dating a Capricorn named Ken. I call him Capriken, in my head at least. He’s really beautiful, like, devastatingly beautiful. Blue eyes I could scry in & a body… well, let’s just say, he’s a work of art. But being a Cap, he’s also a piece of work. How we met is a saga in itself & too private to share here. But when we did meet, it was like lightning struck. The connection was undeniable, though we both try very hard to deny it. He was OK with the Witch thing at first, or so I thought.
The first date had its usual common Witch comments from him. But they were shared in playfulness, which is fine. I don’t take myself that seriously, which is one of my hardest won powers. Nor do I take anything that personally, thank you Don Miguel Ruiz. But by the 2nd date, when he saw where I live & how I live, it must have hit home. I live in a Witch’s cottage on the water & there are altars all over the place. He didn’t run screaming from my home. In fact, the date was good, up until the very end. As we were sitting in his car after dinner (Taco Bell, a man after my own fart) he said something that I knew, but for some reason lanced through my gut.
“You know, when you tell people you are Witch, they think you are crazy.” No shit, really? Have you met my family? No, you haven’t. What he meant was, when you told ME you were a Witch, I thought you were crazy. That was our last date & by that I mean the last time we saw each other face to face. He has kept in touch but, being a Cap, who knows if it is his schedule or his fear that keeps him from ‘doing dinner’ again.
Look, I know people think I am crazy when they find out that I ‘think I am a Witch.’ Oh yeah, I think it alright. But I also have the healthy coven, love of friends & prosperity to show at least I am good at it. So I don’t mind if they think I am crazy, ‘crazy like a fox’ comes to mind, though I am more of a lion than a fox, more predator than prey totemically.
So, letting Capriken do his thing, I turn my gaze once again toward other Witches, Pagans & other Magickal Folk. But that’s no bargain either. Dating within your religion may work for many, but not so much for me. It has never worked out, except maybe for a sabbat fling, a Moon Tide or long enough to fulfill some long ago made karmic agreement. It just turns into a power struggle eventually. I made a decision long ago to become the most powerful Witch I can be & mind you knowledge isn’t power, WISDOM is. Wisdom comes from experience & that, especially with men, I have in scores, pardon the entendre.
I am a powerful Witch, in many ways. I ride the cycles of nature, mark the Wheel of the Year & keep my eyes on the moon for timing. I know when to lay low & when to blaze brilliantly, like a volume dial on my energy field. The power struggle is usually political unfortunately. No, I’m not going to tell you my secrets, I just met you. No, you can’t see my book of shadows yet, we just met. I’d rather you meet my Mother first & if you can survive Hera, then maybe you’ll appreciate what lay written within its pages.
Even when it does work out, they want to take classes, join the coven etc. I have a rule about dating coven members; I don’t, nor do I date students. The power dynamic is too unbalanced in my favor. But I’ve given it a shot for what it is worth, more wisdom of course. In the end, in those cases, I do the ritual to turn a Lover into a Brother. It isn’t easy, but I got good at it after the 100th time. It’s not so bad, as it has yielded many knowing glances in circle & inside jokes over the years.
So, here I am a single, successful & pretty powerful Witch. I love to date, albeit the inquisition aspect. I get to mix it up a bit & hopefully get dinner out of it, if not the occasional boink. But I also have immense knowing that whether single forever in this life, I am happy. I know my Gods have plans for me & single or partnered, I’ll be fine. No, better than fine, powerful, loved & evolving toward being the best I can be. I’ll sort the rest out after I croak.
Besides, if I do indeed have a Soulmate, a term I detest by the normal definition, then I have a few. They are all women & with them at my side & in my life I will always have a hand to take mine & an ear to share my highs & woes about men with. They get me, know I am not crazy & are always willing to help me keep my balance on the dating tightrope.
Capriken? Well, we’ll see. I’d love to gaze into those beautiful blue eyes again. Maybe they cast their own spell on me. But knowing the tides & seasons of the Wheel as I do, I’m fine with riding the wave & seeing what happens next.
Mark A Lyons
Follow me on Twitter @ProfWitch
PS. Guess who just texted me? I suppose my laptop is an inadvertent magickal tool. Who knew?